Collision
by ilovemyself26
Summary: What would happen if everything in your life were turned upside down? What if what you were supposed to be or where you were supposed to go wasn't what you wanted? Spencer thought that everything in her life were one way and not another.. Until she met Ashley and collision happened..
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys.. Back again after a loooooong break.. This story is a high school one with a bit of college.. Different from the ones i am used to write.. Hope you embrace this story as much as you did with the other ones.. I am ahead a few chapters so there will be a post every week.. Hope you enjoy reading it..**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

They say that life is not easy.. Things don't come the way you want them to.. Some people never change.. Love, hate, anger, sadness, happiness.. So many words, so many phrases, but at the end we must deal with them on our own.. Yes, life is not easy and yes people will never change, but you must find it out on your own and not based on what other people say.. That's what I did..

Living in a small town is never easy.. Even if Ohio is a state.. But yet a small town had its pros and cons.. The bad thing is that everyone knows everyone.. That always bothered me in a way.. You can't do anything without someone else finding it.. And most of all, if you come from a good family, and your mother is the doctor of the town while your father is the president of the town council, and your brother got first in Harvard.. Can you imagine how I have to stand to all that? I have to be perfect, I have to be the best student, I must be the perfect daughter so I can satisfy my family.. Live up on their standards..

I am a 4.0 senior student in high school, president of the student council, president of the art club, and editor to our school newspaper.. You think that is enough? No, for my mom is not enough to get into Harvard and be a doctor as her.. Don't misunderstand me.. I love both my parents.. But sometimes I feel like I want to scream.. Scream so loud till my vocal chords hurt.. I always feel an inside anger. An anger I get to take out on everyone besides the people I have to..

I know very well what my classmates think of me.. I know very well of my nickname even.. High school is a very small community anyway.. So my nickname, the Bitchy Queen, wasn't hard for me to find out.. Do I stand up to my nickname? Of course I do.. Am I a bitch? Yes, sure I am.. So there is no wonder as to why I don't have any friends I can trust, but I have everyone being afraid of me.. Besides, this is my last year here anyway.. So, who cares..

So this is my life.. This is where I live.. Grove City, Ohio.. Population 35.575.

"Spencer, darling.. You are going to be late for school"

"I am coming mom.."

6am as every morning.. My alarm wakes me up, I am taking my shower, getting dressed, taking breakfast and going to school with my SLR Mercedes that was my sweet sixteen birthday gift.. I love that car..

"Honey, I must go.. They called me from the hospital.. Have a good day at school"

"Yes, mom.. Thank you.."

7am.. Being alone as always in a empty home.. My dad always leaving early to go to his work.. Besides the president of the city council he has his law office.. Leaves at 6am every morning and comes home at 9pm every night.. Breakfast.. Untouched..

7.45am.. Ready to start my day.. A day full of things to do, a day full of classes.. A day where again I am going to hear in the halls _"Here comes the bitch"_.. Do I care? No..

This year will be my last year.. This is what I am telling myself all the time..

"Hey gorgeous.. How are you this morning?" I got my first kiss for the day from my boyfriend.. You thought I didn't have one? I don't have friends.. Doesn't mean I don't have a boyfriend.. Aiden.. Well, Aiden is the star of our basketball team.. Handsome, build, gorgeous eyes, catholic as me.. We are the perfect couple.. The king and queen..

"Hi" I say giving him a kiss back.. "I am fine Aiden.. Ready to start my day"

"Want me to walk you to your class?"

"Don't I always?"

Walking me in class is our daily ritual.. Everyone separates in the hall for us to walk.. Whispers everywhere, looks of jealousy.. Why me, the bitchy Queen had the perfect boyfriend.. The nice guy.. I even heard that I am a witch.. Teenagers and their crazy thoughts..

"Here we are.. Have a beautiful day baby.. See you in literature" and I got my second kiss for the day.. I stayed a little there standing, looking at him walking away, turning back his head and giving me a smile..

"Mrs Carlin, thank you for joining us" my math teacher I dislike said to me.. I believe that he shouldn't teach kids.. He is.. I don't even have the words to describe him..

I sat on my desk, took out my books, not looking at anyone in particular.. Fifteen minutes later and he still talked about the night he had yesterday and I just wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up and start teaching.. That's what he is anyway.. A teacher.. Before I open my mouth to say something though I heard a loud noise from outside the door.. Everyone turned their heads to the right and the door opened..

"I am sorry.. I woke up late.. This is for you I guess" a girl came inside, with an attitude I must say, gave him a paper that I supposed was a pass.. He read it and told her to sit to the desk in front..

"Guys, this is Ashley Davies.. She is a new student.. Ashley do you want to tell us something about you?" the girl, Ashley, got up from her seat, and she started talking..

"Hi, I am Ashley.. I am from LA.. And your town sucks.. Thank you" what a bitch..

"Ehm.. Well.. Ashley.. Thank you.." he said trying to sound cool..

Who does that anyway.. Who is a new student somewhere and instead of trying to fit in does the opposite? And she does have that LA look.. Dressed like a whore, speaks like a whore.. I am sure she did a lot in LA..

All the time in class she didn't turn her head to look at anyone.. She didn't write anything.. She just played with her pen in her fingers.. Passing it from side to side.. Once the bell rang she got up first and run outside the class.. For once I didn't hear anyone talking about me.. Instead I heard them talking about her…

"_Did you see what she was wearing?"_

"_What a bitch"_

"_Who does she thinks she is?"_

"_I am sure bitchy Queen will have a competition of who is the bitchier"_

Indeed.. This new girl had everyone talking about her and sure I didn't like her.. At all..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for favoring and adding my story to your alerts.. It means a lot :) As i said before there will be an update every week and maybe two every now and then.. So you won't wait for months or weeks..  
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**L2GQ: Thank you very much for being my first reviewer and liking the first chapter**

**Anonymous: I am glad i am back as well :).. It's been a while**

**FufuTheFallenAngel: Thank you :) Chapters will be up often.. **

**Chapter 2**

Up until now I never thought I could dislike someone that much to the point where I hate them.. I didn't even know I had it in me to hate someone.. It's just that this girl, the whore from LA as I call her, came here to make me forget my catholic morals.. Everything about her irritates me.. I don't like her attitude, I don't like the way she is a show off, I don't like the fact that she thinks that she is so much better than every other person in this town, and so many other things.. The list could go on and on and on..

She sat at her desk as usual, paying no attention to anyone.. Unfortunately I had her to three of my classes.. Math, literature, and gymnastics.. Everyone was gossiping about her.. The reasons as to why she was here.. The most common discussion in the halls wass that she killed someone and she is hiding here.. Others said that she got pregnant and her parents threw her away.. The fact is though that no one knew anything about her besides her name and where she was coming from..

"Hey babe, how was math?" Aiden said while waiting for me outside my class like always.. He knows my answer anyway.. "Let me guess, awful as always?"

"You are so clever.." he is not that clever though.. Yes, he is gorgeous and a good athlete but not very smart..

"I know.."

"How was yours?"

"Boring.. I almost fell asleep.. Did you talk to her yet?"

"To whom?"

"You know.. The new girl.. She is kind of hot.." I smacked him on his arm.. She is hot? I don't think so..

"You have a girlfriend you know.."

"I know.. And she is the most beautiful girl.. It's just what the other guys say about her.. But come on Spence.. She is kind of hot.."

"I don't know what you are talking about.. If you like whores then maybe she is hot then" I said while Ashley was walking by next to us.. Our eyes locked for the first time and she turned her head on the right..

"I like you.."

"Good answer"

"Now, what about going to literature.. I can look at you some more" he gave me a kiss and held my hand as we both walked to our shared class..

When we got inside I got surprised and angry because I saw her sitting at my desk.. Who the fuck she thinks she was..

"This is my seat" I said with a tone that could make any other student in this school ran to the toilets.. But yet she didn't even look at me and that pissed me off.. I put my hand on the desk with that kind of force so I could make my point but still the only thing she did was to just turn her head at my direction..

"Is your name written somewhere blondie?" she said with a smirk while taking one of her ear plugs off..

"This is my seat.. So go sit somewhere else.."

"I don't think so.." she turned her head away from me and put her ear plug in again..

It was final.. I was fuming.. The nerve this girl had.. No one ever spoke to me like that.. I looked around the class and no one was saying anything.. Before I say something or even worse do something our teacher came inside and Aiden told me to go sit somewhere else.. He tried to hold my hand but I didn't want to be touched right now..

Did I manage to hear anything of what the teacher was saying? No.. Was I thinking of ways to get back to this girl? Hell yes.. I had another class with her and I would make sure to make her life a living hell..

Once the class was finished she tried to get up first but I was right behind her.. I passed her fast while pushing her back to her seat.. I looked back to see her but she didn't do anything.. The only thing I saw was her smiling.. Or was it a smirk? Or both? Argh… She was driving me insane already..

"Spence, why did you do that?"

"Did what Aiden?"

"I saw you when you pushed her.. So what? She took your seat.."

"No one and I mean no one treats me that way here.."

"Sometimes you really scare me Spencer.. I know you are a good person.. I can see it in your eyes but sometimes I don't like the way you treat people here.."

"If you don't like me you can break up with me Aiden.. You always have the choice"

"I made the choice to be with you.. But anyway.. You don't understand.. Talk to you later.."

I didn't bother with Aiden.. Sometimes he was getting emotional like a girl.. He is a nice young man, every girl would be lucky to have him.. But sometimes I catch myself not feeling anything about him.. If I did I would care more if we broke up or not..

Gymnastics came and it was another shared time with Ashley.. I didn't know what I wanted to do but I just wanted to make her understand who was the boss here.. And surely it wasn't her..

"Hello girls, and boys.. For once I see everyone here.. That's a first.. So lets start working out.." our gym teacher said to all of us.. I scanned the place but Ashley wasn't here yet.. Where was she anyway? Ten minutes before we finish I saw her coming in with a cigarette in her hand wearing her clothes and not the gym clothes she was supposed to..

"Excuse me, miss.."

"Ashley.." she said while putting out her cigarette under her heels..

"You are late.."

"I know.. I am new here so I didn't know where to find this place"

"You could have asked someone to show you around.."

"I could have.."

"Spencer, come here.." I hope she won't say what I think .. "Ashley, this is Spencer.. The student president.. She will show you around.. For today I won't put you on detention but next time make sure you are here on time.. Guys, we are finished for today.. Go to the showers"

She did say what I didn't want to hear.. Show Ashley around? Hell no.. And before I think of anything else she was already gone.. What is wrong with this person?

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always wecome**


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank you all for putting my story to your alerts or favoring it.. :) Also i would like to thank you for taking a minute to review the chapters i am posting.. It means a lot to a writer to see that the story is likable or not.. LoL.. We have a long way so i hope you stay with me.. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

Life doesn't come easy.. That's for sure.. And sometimes we have to do things we don't like.. Most of the times we don't like anything anyway.. But for you to not like someone, and to have to be around them the whole day; That is a torture..

Being the president of this school I had certain responsibilities.. One of them unfortunately was to welcome new students and to show them around.. Our new student though, Ashley Davies, didn't make it easy for me.. If anything I think she did everything to get on my nerves..

After the gym incident and her leaving like she was chased I haven't seen her till the next day.. When I did see her, was when she was the last one getting inside the math class.. Once the bell rang I got up first to catch her because she had the tendency to walk away..

"Look, blondie.. You can say you showed me around and you can go on your way and I'll go on mine.. Got it?" she said before I say anything to her..

"No, I didn't get it.. And my name is Spencer"

"Whatever" she lighted another cigarette and she made a step to walk away..

"Look.. I was told to show you around.. It doesn't mean I like it"

"Good.. No problem then.. I don't like it or you. . So bye"

"Why are you being like that?" I couldn't help to ask.. She had this attitude that was driving me insane..

"See you in literature blondie"

How could I describe this person? I think I would be left with no words.. She is unbelievable, bitchy, miserable, irritating, and so many other things that I wouldn't spend my day trying to think of..

I think I realized how is to taste your own medicine.. And if I was close to what Ashley is no doubt no one liked me..

My day went smoothly to all my classes till literature where I had to see her again.. And there she was. Sitting at my desk and smirking when she saw me getting inside.. I was ready to say something but I was stopped again from Aiden..

"Don't.. Just go sit there.. Hello Ashley.."

"Hi, Aiden.. Good to see you again" She said to him with a smile.. Up until now I don't think I ever saw her smiling.. And how they knew each other anyway? Aiden must have sensed my curiosity and whispered to me that he would explain to me later..

"Ladies.. And gentlemen of course.. Today we will read one of the greatest love stories.. At least for me.. Wuthering Heights, Catherine and Heathclif.. Open your book at.."

"I am sorry but I don't think that is the best love story.. At least for me.." Ashley said and everyone looked at her..

"And what is the best love story for you Ms Davies?"

"Nothing in particular but I like the Sue and Maud pairing.."

"I don't understand what you are saying Ms Davies"

"Sarah Waters, Fingersmith.. Great book.. Good story line and you can see how these two characters grow to love each other through lies and deception.. I suggest for you to read it.."

"Ehm, thank you for the suggestion Ms Davies.. Now open your book at page 21.."

I didn't know what she was saying.. I didn't know what this book was like but I knew and everyone knew that Sue and Maud were female names.. So was she referring to a gay book?

Class was finished and the teacher asked for Ashley to stay behind.. I am sure it was because of what she said earlier.. I wanted so much to listen of what she would tell her.. If I could stay outside and had the door half open maybe…

"Spence, what are you doing?"

"Nothing.. I was closing the door.."

"Come on.. I have a little surprise for you.." I had to let go... I couldn't stay outside anyway and I wanted to ask Aiden from where he knew Ashley..

We went outside and we found a spot where no other student was sitting.. Aiden sat right next to me and took my hand on his, caressing the inside of my palm..

"Like today, a year ago, it was right there where I told you I liked you.."

"How you remembered that?"

"I remember everything about you.. About us.."

"So a year ago eh?"

"Yes, and since then we have been together.. So I wanted to give you this" he took from his pocket a little velvet box and for a second my heart started to beat so fast that I thought it would break.. And no it wasn't from the excitement that he could propose to me.. Actually it was quite the opposite.. I hope he didn't.. We were both so young about that.. And I wasn't even sure about him being my one..

"Happy anniversary baby" I opened it and I was so happy to see that it was a pair of earrings.. A pair I actually wanted to buy a few days ago..

"Thank you.. They are beautiful" I said and I gave him a kiss.. "I didn't take you anything.. I am sorry"

"Well, basically its not our anniversary so its ok.. This is the first gift.. In our anniversary next week you will have something else"

"Aiden, you don't have to.."

"I know.. I want to.."

"Thank you.. Can I ask you something?"

"From where I know Ashley?"

"Yes.. When? How? Where?"

"As for when it was yesterday.. How, because her car had a problem and it stopped in the middle of the road.. Where, in the middle of the road"

"And you helped her?"

"Why shouldn't I Spencer? She needed help and since I could help why not?"

"But its her.. She is.."

"Spencer stop.. Actually I believe she is a nice person.. And besides, if I heard what other people said about you I shouldn't be with you.. But yet I am.. So if you don't talk to her or get to know her don't make any assumptions.."

"She already fooled you.. I have to admit that she has her ways.."

"Spencer, I am going inside.. Think of what I told you.."

How could this be true? And no, I didn't want to know her.. I disliked her like cats dislike water.. Ok, maybe that wasn't a good example.. But my point was that I didn't want to get to know her.. As much as she had a beautiful smile..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome  
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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys.. Here we are once again.. The chapter is short but the other ones will be longer.. Thank you for all your favorites and alerts..**

**OneLiner: Spencer did taste that yes.. And she will again..  
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**Unknown: Thank you.. I am glad i am back.. As for Ashley.. Who doesnt want her? Lol  
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**H: Thank you very much**

**gina32: Although you reviewed my first chapter i am answering to your review on this one.. Every review positive or not is always welcomed.. We can't expect everyone to like our stories.. As for mine though.. I have written 10 stories of south of nowhere.. All of them had a different story from the casual high school ones you referred.. If you haven't read anything of mine you could read one of these.. As for Spencer being too mean.. Its a fan fiction story.. We, as writers, just borrow the characters of a serie or a movie or anything and we create something new.. On this story i wanted a fresh mean start for Spencer.. Also it is very easy to dislike someone.. It might be the aura or the attitude.. It happened to me and i am sure it happened to other people as well.. So its not that she doesn't like Ashley because of her comment.. She doesn't like Ashley's attitude because Ashley is different.. I am sorry you didn't like it.. If you still want to read the story and comment feel free.. Any critic is welcomed..**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Dreams.. life.. Love.. Work.. Do those things go together? Can you actually have a life through your dream work and have the perfect love? Don't ask too much because that is not easy to be found.. Unfortunately when someone has one or two even of those simple things they lack on the others..

Every person has dreams.. This is what makes us, us.. A person who can't dream then is half human.. I wondered one day what were my dreams.. And what I figured out was that my dreams were completely different from what I was doing in my life.. My dream wasn't to become a doctor like my mom.. My dream wasn't to follow my brother's steps and find myself in Harvard.. And sometimes at night when I was going to bed I was thinking if the choice of having Aiden as my boyfriend was mine or because I was brain washed by my mom.. So at the end I was half a person of myself and half of my mom's.. And the sad part is that I never said anything.. The sad part is that I became a sad person myself because I couldn't act on my wants, my needs and my dreams..

I couldn't figure out why all this long I never thought about these things.. Why couldn't I say or do anything? And I came face to face with the ugly truth.. This new girl I despised, this girl that seemed carefree with no feelings attached, this girl, Ashley, seemed to be more real than I ever were.. A very hard realization of myself.. If I couldn't be real to myself how could I be real to my family or the people around me?

"Spence, you seem in your own world again.. You have been doing that for days now"

"I am sorry.. Were you saying something?"

"Its ok.. It wasn't anything important anyway"

"I am sorry"

"Want to tell me what this is about?"

"Its nothing Aiden.. Just my normal self"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am.." I said and I don't think I was true to him.. Because I wasn't really ok.. But it would pass eventually..

"Ready for your favorite class?"

"Literature is not my favorite class Aiden"

"Yes it is.. Because I am there and because Ashley is there" he said with a smirk and I didn't understand what he meant by that.. He figured it out that I was confused so he finished his sentence seconds later "Because I know how much you enjoy pissing and scaring people off.. But she is different"

"How so?"

"She is not affected by you"

She is not affected by me.. She hasn't been since day one.. If anything I think I was being affected by her.. I was jealous of her in a way.. No one knew anything about her.. She was such a mystery.. Not even Aiden knew anything because I knew they were talking but she never said anything to him.. Who was this person that was invading my thoughts? Who was this person who I was getting affected by?

"Lets get inside Spence.. We are going to be late"

Getting inside I saw she wasn't sitting on her normal seat that used to be mine.. I wondered where she could be.. Why did I wonder? I really don't know..

"Hello class.. How did you find your homework? Difficult?"

Everyone pretty much answered at the same time.. Yes, no, maybe.. Some were bored to even open their mouths..

"Spencer, will you read for us the poem?"

"Yes, sir" and I started to read Annabelle Lee by Alan Poe..

'_But our love it was stronger by far than the love_

_Of those who were older than we_

_Of many far wiser than me_

_And neither the angels in heaven above,_

_Not the demons down under the sea,_

_Can ever dissever my soul from the soul_

_Of the beautiful Annabelle Lee'_

"Very good Spencer.. So what is the mood of the poem?"

"The poem is an example of nostalgia.. But also the poet's way of expressing his grief towards his wife's death.."

And right there the door opened and Ashley got inside.. Wearing her big Jackie O sun glasses and her hair almost covering her left face.. She walked to the teacher's desk giving him something and she sat down to her seat..

"Ok, so let's continue.. Steven read the last part of the poem"

I didn't listen to Steven's reading.. I didn't listen to teacher's questions.. I was just wondering about her.. And that scared me.. I never cared for anyone in this place and most of all for someone I didn't like.. But yet I wanted to know what was about her.. Why she was late today and why she was wearing glasses.. Did something happen? I couldn't show I cared though.. Especially after everything I said about her..

"Aiden, why don't you go to see if Ashley is ok? You talk with each other anyway"

"I will.. I was surprised to see her that way and mostly I was surprised that you cared.." he said with a smile..

"Don't be ridiculous.. I don't.. Especially for her.. I'll see you later.. Bye" I said while giving him a kiss and walking right in front of her.. With the edge of my eye I saw her turning her head on my direction but I walked out of class as she was still inside..

Every day that was passing I was wondering more and more about her.. And today I found out that I even cared.. What was wrong with me? Why she was affecting me that much when she wasn't even talking to me..? When I am supposed to despise her..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	5. Chapter 5

**To be honest i thought i would have been forgotten as a writer till now but i am glad to see that you still follow me and my stories.. :) It makes me happy.. I hope you embrace this story as you did with the other ones.. Thank you again for all your reviews and favorites, alerts, follows..**

**gina32: Thank you and as i said every opinion is always welcome..  
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**Dominomino: Once a week, one chapter.. stay tuned!  
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**Guest: That's what i have been told ;).. I let the suspense boil.. Lol  
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**OneLiner: We will see what is going to happen with these two ladies.. :)  
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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

**Ashley's POV**

Always moving around.. A new city.. New friends.. New life.. Changing habits.. New places.. Everything new but yet I was staying the same.. The same old Ashley as everyone says.. Who is that person you might ask? I would answer, just me.. What me is all about? I can't answer that.. Nor do I want to..

I am seventeen and I did pretty much everything I could think off.. Partying, not studying, not caring, I even did drugs.. Besides, changing homes every month or every six months doesn't make me that eager to study or to do anything at all.. And who would anyway in my situation.. I am a lost child as my previous foster family used to say.. Yes, foster for not having my own family.. No, actually I do have a family.. A family that never wanted me.. A family who abandoned me.. A family that all of a sudden wanted to meet me and get to know me.. Or more exactly my dad.. I thought he never wanted me, that he left me and my mom but yet he never knew I even existed.. My mom never told him.. And I was given by her because she was such a whore and a drug addict that couldn't keep me.. Although I must say that she did keep me for five years.. That was way too much for her.. I was a burden to her.. I might have been young but unfortunately I remember everything..

So this is why I am here now.. My mom, I guess in a moment of being sober, she contacted my dad, she told him about me and he found me.. I left my foster home from California and came here.. In the middle of nowhere.. Do I like it? No.. Did I like it where I was? I liked the fact that I knew that place.. At my last home I stayed the longest and the people besides everything were good and for once I was treated good.. I was starting to have a life.. But that had to stop because my father wanted to know me.. Wanted to have me in his life..

Raife Davies was a good man.. That I can admit.. Nothing close to what my mom was.. Married to a nice lady and having a beautiful home.. He plays music to one of the local bars and she is a teacher.. They never had any children though.. From what I found out they did try but they couldn't..

Ohio its so much different from what I was used to.. Even the people are.. I don't even know what word to use that would sum up to how they are.. Uptight? Country? With no taste at all? And then of course we have high school.. I must say I did give a very good impression to everyone since they still talk about me..

"Ashley, want me to take you to school?"

"No, I am good.. I'll take the bus"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Catherine.."

"Ok, have a good day.. See you later"

I have been with them for almost three months now.. I must say that I didn't make it easy for them to have me around.. I used to be a rebel.. I used not to care about anyone and about what I did.. But Catherine treated me as a grown up and more like her own child.. And for once I felt wanted and secure.. She was a mother figure to me.. A mother I never really had.. But the truth is that old me couldn't stay out of trouble.. Even with a family that could give me what I wanted I had to find the worse people to hung out with, and to be the only person I knew..

Instead of taking the bus to school I walked to a near local place where I met some people during summer.. They seemed the only cool people here anyway.. Girls were dressed like nuns, boys with their football jackets.. So taken from an old '50s movie.. We only missed the milkshakes..

"Hey babe.. How you doing?"

"I am good Michael.."

"I have something good for you.. Come here" I walked close to him and he put his hand inside his jacket taking out a small bag with white powder.. I knew what it was.. And I promised myself that I wouldn't do drugs again..

"No, I don't want to.."

"Come on.. We could have fun later on.. You and I.." and he tried to get up from his bike so he could take me inside..

"Michael, no.."

"I know you want it.."

"I don't.. Whatever you are offering anyway.."

"You all say that.. No means yes.." he got up and being 6.5 feet tall he leaned close to kiss me.. When he was close enough I slapped him and I saw the anger in his eyes.. And then I felt it.. He hit me back.. And it hurt.. At that moment I heard someone yelling at him.. He turned around, took his bike and left leaving me behind..

"Are you ok my child? Did he hurt you? Let me see.." a nice middle aged man said to me while trying to see if I was ok..

"Yes I am ok.. Thank you.."

"Who was that person? Do you know him?"

"He is no one.."

"I think you should press charges.. I'll come with you"

"No sir.. I am ok.. Thank you.." and before he said anything else I started running.. Why couldn't I stop finding myself in situations like this? Why couldn't I just be normal.. Like all the nuns here? Because I guess it was a part of me for so many years and it wouldn't go away so easily..

I went back home to see the damage he did to my face and it was bad.. I didn't know how I could hide it from Raife and I didn't know how I would go to school like that without having them wondering more about me than they already did.. I put some make up on and I tried to cover it as much as I could.. I took my big Jackie O glasses and walked to school.. I was already late once again..

I knew I had to go first to the headmaster to take a pass.. Till now they were being nice to me since I was new and everything but today I would have to explain my face as an excuse.. That wasn't an excuse anyway..

"Come in.. Oh, its you again Ms Davies.. I think you are late again.." I walked close to his desk and took off my glasses.. "What happened to you?"

"I was coming here when someone tried to rob me.. So I fought and he hit me.. That's why I am late sir.." I didn't want to say the truth.. And under this situation a white lie couldn't hurt anyone..

"Are you sure you are ok? Did you see this person?"

"Yes, I am fine.. And no I didn't.. I just want to go back to class sir.. I already missed a lot"

"Yes, of course.. Here is your pass.. Go to the nurse later so she can check up on you.."

I walked back to literature that it was close to finish anyway.. It was a class I liked actually.. I might be a rebel but actually I am a very good student.. If I want to.. I wasn't studying and I was taking B's.. And in this class and not only to this one was a person that I really disliked.. It was the perfect girl you see in the movies.. Perfect hair, perfect outfit, perfect grades, handsome boyfriend and bitch.. And I could feel she felt the same about me anyway.. But the truth is that from all the people in here I found her the more interesting.. She had something I was jealous off.. The attitude of being sure of who she was and what she wanted.. Something I had but in other ways..

Once I got inside everyone looked at me and first her, Spencer.. I didn't turn my head to look at anyone and gave my teacher the pass.. I sat down on my seat and waited for the bell to ring.. Once it did everyone rushed out with Spencer being the first.. She looked at me but she run out so fast.. I was wondering what was about her anyway..

"Ashley, are you alright?"

"Yes, I am fine Aiden. Thank you.." I said trying to hide myself..

"Why are you wearing glasses?"

"Ehm, its my eyes.."

"Ashley.. Something is wrong.. I can see it.."

"Nothing is wrong Aiden.. Ok?" I said and walked outside as fast as Spencer did not too long ago..

I run to the bathroom to be away from the others but when I stepped in I came face to face with the only person I didn't want to see..

"What are you doing in here?" she said while looking at me..

"It is the bathroom right? So what are you doing in here?"

"I asked you first"

"Whatever blondie.." I said and I just didn't want to deal with her.. I was ready to get inside when she touched my arm..

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I didn't know nuns were allowed to swear.. Bad you blondie.. Now let go of my arm.." I said and pulled my arm violently away from her hand.. I saw so much anger coming through her eyes.. I didn't care really.. The only thing I heard was the door opening and closing as fast..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

How can a person affect you so much? How is it possible for me to be affected by someone I dislike that much? To be intrigued by her.. To wonder about her.. To care.. And since lately to want to get to know her.. I tried so hard to stop thinking of her.. I lied to myself.. I couldn't.. And at this point I didn't know if it was all just me being intrigued by her attitude because surely she was completely different from all of us here or I was interested in her for reasons I still couldn't figure out.. Nor did I want to..

Ashley was a mystery to me.. A mystery I didn't know how to solve..

Every day I would see her talking to Aiden when I wasn't around.. I would see her sitting by herself listening to music on her iphone.. Ignoring everyone and bother with nothing.. She was in her own world.. And I must say that I was jealous of that.. I was jealous of her not caring about good grades, jealous of not caring who would like her and who wouldn't.. Jealous of.. And here I was again.. Thinking about her.. At the end I didn't know if I hated her or liked her.. And if I liked her then why I was still being a bitch to her and far away from everything that she was getting close to?

"Spence, we are going to Dunkin Donuts after school.. Are you coming?"

"I don't know Aiden.. I have to study and finish our paper for literature class"

"Oh, come on.. Its Friday.. You can start tomorrow.."

"Ok.. Ok.. See you after class.. Are we going with your car?"

"Yeah.. Meet you at the parking.. See ya babe"

Dunkin Donuts was our meeting point.. Every Friday, or almost every Friday after our last class we were going for a donut, a milkshake or whatever.. I never ordered anything because I was being careful.. Besides, one donut.. So many calories to burn after.. So I was going there to be Aiden's girlfriend who he was really proud of..

After our class finished I went to find Aiden at the parking lot.. He was already there talking with another guy from the basketball team.. Once he saw me he greeted me with a beautiful smile and with a kiss on my lips..

"I am glad you came.."

"Sure.. Ready to go?"

"Ehm.. Not yet.. I am waiting for another person to come"

"Which one.." I saw him debating on if he would tell me or wait for me to find out by myself and that actually made me want to yell at him because he knew I hated surprises.. Before he give an answer to me I saw him looking behind me.. I turned to see and I saw her.. Black Jackie O glasses, tight skinny jeans with a black ripped tshirt of KISS, a cigarette on her hand.. Her hair were down, curled.. and since the last month she had some red stripes..

"Aiden.. What is she doing here?"

"I invited her.."

"Did you ask me if I wanted her to come with us?"

"Spencer.. She has no friends here.. She has been in this school for three months now and you still acting like a bitch.. Get over with it.." when he said that I had to think again of what he said.. It was already three months.. Before I even have a second to think about it some more she was already in front of us..

"Hey.."

"Hey Ash.. Ready to go?"

"I didn't know your girlfriend would be here Aiden.." She put her cigarette out and looked at me..

"Ladies.. Just stop.. You have to get over whatever it is about you two and stop being a bitch to each other.. Spencer I want to be your boyfriend while I am being a friend to Ashley.. And Ashley I want to be your friend while being a boyfriend to Spencer.. So pleaaaaaase.. For God shake.. Can we go now?"

"Aiden.. You are such a drama queen.. Ok.. Whatever.. Fine with me.. I'll come.." she said simple like that.. I expected more from her.. I expected her to leave.. I expected her to throw an insult at me.. I expected.. I don't know what else I expected..

"Spencer?"

"Yeah.. Whatever.. Let's go"

"Awesome.. I am sooo good"

"Don't be full of yourself Aiden.." Aiden was a nice boy but sometimes I just wanted to punch him..

In the car ride to Dunkin Donuts Ashley didn't speak.. Not even once.. I was sitting in front with Aiden who was doing all the talking.. I looked at her from the mirror and she was wearing her earplugs as always..

"Here we are ladies.. We arrived.. Ready for some donuts?"

"Sure" Ashley said after closing the door and walking ahead from us..

Once inside pretty much all the basketball team was there, the cheerleaders and all the 'cool' kids our school was proud of.. Once they saw Ashley it was like Brand Pitt got inside.. Everyone stopped talking the moment they saw us three walking together.. Aiden was the one to speak first while having his hand on my back..

"Hey guys.. What's up?"

_Cool.. Hey man.. Yeah all good.. _ I heard pretty much everyone saying at the same time.. Ashley was already ordering something away from us.. I from the other hand I was Aiden's girlfriend.. Being all pretty beside him..

"Babe, do you want anything?"

"No, Aiden.. Thank you"

Ashley was holding what I thought was a coffee.. At least she seemed to me like a coffee person.. I thought that she would sit with the others but no.. She went and sat outside.. I watched her.. She sat on a chair, lighted a cigarette, put her earplugs in and sipped her coffee..

"Where is Ashl?" what was about him calling her with a nickname anyway.. Were they that close?

"Outside.."

"Tell her to come inside so she can be with us"

"You go.. Should I remind you I am not friends with her?"

"Time for you to have one.." That actually hurt.. But it was true.. I didn't have any friends.. And I didn't know I wanted any..

What surprised me was that I found myself walking outside to where she was sitting.. For a sec I stood right behind her and then I went and sat on the other chair next to her table.. She didn't turn her head to look at where I was sitting.. She continued smoking her cigarette and sipping at her coffee.. I don't know why I even came outside.. This person was pissing me off so much.. I stood up to leave when I heard her voice.. Husky as ever..

"Leaving already blondie?"

"She speaks.. Oh my God.. It's a miracle"

"I do yes.. I am better though to other things.." she said while blowing the smoke out of her lips..

"I am sure you are" I said ironically..

"How would you know?" it was the first time today she looked at me.. Although I wasn't sure because her glasses were really dark..

"I don't.."

All those months she was a student to our school we never had a conversation more than two seconds.. But here we were, outside Dunkin Donuts, talking to each other without insults.. It was a surprise..

"Why are you here blondie?"

"My name is Spencer.. Not blondie"

"But you are blond.. And a natural one if I might say.. So what's the problem? I am just stating the truth, blondie"

"Because I have a name.. And that is Spencer.. So either you call me Spencer or don't call me anything at all.."

"Mmm.. Tempting.."

We stayed like that for a few minutes not talking to each other.. I would turn my head to look at her some times.. Besides everything, besides the fact that she was pissing me off I had to painfully admit to myself that Ashley was a beautiful girl.. I don't know what was about her but she had something that was intriguing.. And I found myself thinking of her more than I should.. And that scared me.. I got up to go inside when I felt her hand on mine.. It burned.. But it was a burn I never felt before..

"Spencer.." she said slowly but yet so clearly that it made my ears explode.. I never thought that I would feel that way after hearing my name.. Especially from her..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys.. Sorry i didn't answer to your previous reviews.. Now i did though ;) .. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.. **

**Guest: Thank you very much :)  
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**OneLiner: It is.. I guess they don't hate each other that much maybe..  
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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

Confused.. Being lost.. Bewildered.. Clouded.. Words with same meaning but yet synopsizing the way I felt..

Since the day we went at Dunkin Donuts.. Since the moment I heard her saying my name.. Since that burn I felt on my arm.. Since then.. I couldn't stop thinking of her.. And moreover I couldn't understand why.. Why was I thinking of her? What kind of strange emotions I was having towards that person?

But yet she was still the same towards me.. She was still acting the same.. Not bothering.. Not seem to care.. She didn't talk to me.. She didn't even look at me.. But yet I can remember clearly that she said my name.. I still felt her touch on my arm.. But I wouldn't be the one to speak first.. I would stop thinking of her.. Yes.. That was my goal.. That's what I would do.. I would continue my life like she was not around.. Its not like she was making her presence visible anyway.. Although she did..

In gym class she was there.. Wearing the shortest shorts ever.. Her top short enough to show her tone abs that anyone could see from afar.. Talking with another girl.. Or flirting.. Flirting? I was standing right there looking with my eyes wide open what was happening.. Yes, I didn't have that many relationships in my life but I knew what flirting was.. She was totally hitting on Audrey.. Blond, long hair, cheerleader.. IQ:75.. No I wasn't mean.. That was the truth.. She wasn't that clever..

"Spence.. What are you looking at? I think you have been looking on that side for more than ten minutes"

"What? What are you saying Holy? No, I am not.. I am sure not.. I don't know what you are talking about.. Go back to your position"

Was Ashley gay? I never met anyone that was gay.. I never heard of anyone being gay in my high school.. If someone was though they never came out.. There was a rumor though that Mr Petingrowth, the owner of a little flower shop, was gay.. He wasn't married and no one ever saw him with a woman.. Nor with a man.. But that's what rumor is anyway.. No one knows for sure.. But was she really gay? And why Audrey? Why the person with the lowest IQ ever?

I couldn't turn my mind off.. Yeah.. Go Spencer.. Well done.. Nice try of not thinking about her.. I tried to take my eyes away from her but I couldn't.. Till I saw her looking at me back.. And I saw her smiling at me.. Or was it a smirk? I turned my head right away.. I didn't want her to think I was looking like a stalker or something..

When gym class was over everyone ran to the showers as always.. I was the last one to get in.. I always liked to be the last one to get into the shower.. I don't know why.. I just didn't like to be inside when everyone was there showering.. But this time it happened for me to have company.. Three showers next to me there she was.. Being naked not far away from me.. I looked to her side and my mind went somewhere I never thought it could go.. My body felt something I never thought it would.. I felt my blood rising up and the water couldn't be colder enough for me to help me ease the thoughts I was having.. No.. No.. I could never.. No.. I turned off my shower, took my towel and went to where my locker was to take my clothes, get dressed and leave this place immediately..

I didn't want to see her for the rest of the day.. And I was so glad that we didn't have any sharing classes.. I would finish my class, go find my boyfriend, kiss him so hard and take him home to have sex.. Yes.. That was a nice plan..

"Ouch" I didn't see where I was going when I fell on to someone..

"Watch where you are going.. Loser"

"It was you who fell on me.." I would recognize that voice everywhere.. She got up and she was a little taller than me because she was wearing heels and I didn't.. Today it happened for her to wear a short tight skirt, black heel boots, a ripped shirt with another group name I suppose and a leather jacket.. Black eyeliner, red lips..

"Whatever.." I wanted to leave as soon as possible.. I didn't want to spend any more minute around her.. In my mind I played the scene from the shower and how I felt.. I turned my back on her and left.. Not before I hear her calling my name for a second time since that day..

"Spencer.." I stopped on my feet.. I couldn't move.. It was just the second time I was hearing my name called by her but yet it was making me feel.. "You forgot your book" she came close and gave me my math book that fell I guess from my hands.. I didn't know if it was her shampoo or her body lotion or her scent but I closed my eyes for a second to take it all in.. What on earth was going on with me? I turned my face not looking at her, took the book without saying anything and left..

Once outside and finally inside my car I called Aiden.. I needed to clear my head from these intense, crazy thoughts I was having..

"Aiden? Where are you?"

"I have basketball practice Spence in an hour.. So I am still at school"

"Come find me at the parking lot.."

"What's wrong?"

"Just come here Aiden.." I didn't wait for him to say anything else.. I wanted to see him, kiss him and have sex with him.. Yes, I was the pretty catholic girl but I wasn't a virgin.. I had sex.. Not that it meant anything to me anyway..

"I am here.. What's wrong?" he said while he opened the door and got inside.. I put my hands on his face and kissed him without letting him say another word.. After a couple of seconds he pushed me a little back, being surprised.. I wasn't so often that forward with him..

"Not that I didn't like but what is wrong?"

"Nothing.. Can't I kiss my handsome boyfriend?" I said and started caressing his tight abs under his shirt.. I knew he liked sex.. And I knew he liked it when I was like that.. In a few seconds he would be the one to tell us to go back home so we could continue what we started..

"Babe, I think we should go to your place.."

"I agree.."

We drove back to my place where we both knew no one would be there as both my parents were working till late.. The good thing of having careerist of a parents..

Once inside he lifted me up and walked us to my room.. He started kissing me, caressing, touching me to places I needed to be touched since this morning.. He removed his shirt and I unbuttoned his pants.. I wanted him and I wanted him now.. I wanted so much to stop thinking of her..

"I love you so much Spencer" I didn't want him to talk.. I didn't want to hear anything he wanted to say.. I just needed one thing..

I turned us over and I was on top of him.. I removed my shirt and he took off my bra.. He started nipping.. Touching.. Feeling.. His hands down on my pants, sliding inside my underwear.. I started moving my body to his rhythm but I couldn't feel anything.. Whatever he did I didn't like as before.. His hands were rough.. His mouth on my breasts too harsh.. I wanted to come but I couldn't.. And then I thought of her.. How her mouth would feel on my breasts.. How her hands would touch me.. I was thinking of this morning and her being naked on the shower.. I forgot about Aiden's touch.. I forgot about Aiden's kisses.. In my mind I was having sex with Ashley.. And I came so fast.. Only in thought of her..

What that was supposed to mean?

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone.. As promised.. A chapter a week.. Although this one came a little bit later.. Hope you enjoy it and thank you again for liking the story so far..**

**OneLiner: Ashley is a mystery to Spencer but yet so interesting..  
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**ItsMeCharlee: Poor Aiden indeed.. lol**

**L2GQ: Soon we will know Ashley's thoughts about Spencer..**

**Lilce: It was.. Wasn't it?**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

**Spencer's POV**

Somewhere I read: _"In the end we only regret chances we didn't take, relationships we are afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make"_.. I never read something that was so close to how I felt this time around.. Three phrases written in simple words but yet they touched me as nothing ever before.. And its true.. Every bit of this saying it was so true..

I was seventeen years old going to eighteen.. This was my last year in high school and then I would go to college.. A prestige one of course.. Yet, sometimes I was catching myself feeling empty inside.. Like all that I was doing was meaningless.. I was regretting for the chances I didn't take.. Whenever I had the chance to talk to my parents about what I want for my life, what I wanted to become.. Who I wanted to be..

At this point I was regretting for the relationships I was afraid to have.. Choosing to be alone, having no friends I could trust and to talk to.. Being with someone I loved but not truly.. It didn't feel right with him.. Especially after having sex with him and thinking of Ashley.. Something that was scaring me so much by the way..

Decisions I waited too long to make.. And still waiting actually.. Its something I don't know if I can do.. Or will do.. I know what I want but yet I can't even think about it.. And that is killing me inside.. Being scared was something I never felt before..

The winter ball was coming and as the president of the student council I had to arrange what it was needed to be done and how much it would cost.. We were already making plans since September but when we were already in the end of November things needed to be done as soon as possible..

The last week there was a rumor in the halls.. Ashley and Audrey were one thing.. Wherever I was going I was listening to whispers all over.. None of us ever met someone who was gay.. And being one of the students.. Yeah.. That was a death note..

At the beginning I didn't want to believe it.. Ashley wasn't gay.. At least that was what I was telling to myself to convince me.. I remembered Ashley's first day at school in literature class and what she said about a book.. I never looked for it.. Didn't search.. But I remembered the title of the book she was saying.. Fingersmith.. I had to know what this book was all about.. Although something inside me already knew..

When I went back home from school I went straight to my laptop to search for the book.. I found out that there was a movie made and there was the book.. What I read was more than interesting.. I never read a book with such a theme nor have seen a movie like that.. The easy thing I could do was to go and buy this book to find out by myself.. At least the plot was interesting enough for me to read it.. But I couldn't go to our local book store.. Everyone knew me and my parents.. So I drove to the next town..

When I went to that book store away from the people who knew me I went straight to that section.. I felt like a kid in a candy store.. Too many candy.. Different colors and tastes.. Didn't know what to choose.. There were so many books.. I felt like I was living in a new world.. And the sad part is that its not like I didn't know of this world.. It just never happened for me to search of this saying world.. But I was here for a certain book.. I found it.. I paid for it.. And I was ready to read it..

When I came home I saw my father's car outside.. That was rare.. Actually it was rare to see my parents before 5pm every day.. But today he was home early.. And that was strange.. I couldn't go inside with the book in my hands.. So I left it inside my car and went inside to find out the reason as to why my father was home that early..

"Spence?"

"Hey dad.. You are home early"

"I forgot some important papers about a case I am working on so I came home but you weren't here.. Where were you?"

"I stayed at school because we had a student council.."

"Ok.. That's good.. How was your day?"

"It was good.. We got the results from our math test"

"And?"

"I took an A-"

"Spence.. You could have done better than that.. Math is what you are good at.. You need As to get into Harvard.. Harvard won't accept A-.. Next time you need a straight A"

When he said straight I had to laugh inside a little bit..

"Why are you smiling?" oops.. I thought I was laughing only by the inside.. I guess it came out as well..

"No reason"

"Ok.. So I am going.. I'll be back before dinner.. Finish your homework.." he gave me a kiss on my forehead and left right away.. I waited for him to leave first and then I went to my car to take my book.. I was so curious to read it.. And it's a good thing that we didn't have any homework..

I didn't realize how fast the time went by.. It was already 8pm and I had been reading since 4pm.. I didn't even hear my mom coming.. I didn't even hear her calling my name.. I was hooked.. This was an amazing book and I still wasn't even in the middle of it.. I was still reading when I heard a knock on my door and immediately I hidden my book under my covers..

"Spence?"

"Yes mom.. Come in"

"Didn't you hear me calling your name earlier?"

"No.. I didn't.. I am sorry.. I was listening to music while studying for tomorrow.."

"I figured.. We are having dinner.. Come on.. Your father is downstairs"

I wanted to finish this dinner as soon as possible so I could go back to my reading..

Dinner talk was the same as always.. My parents discussing about their day at work and then both of them cornering me about my day and my A- at math.. Interesting as always.. And yes.. That was ironic..

When I went back to my room I looked at my phone and I saw a text and a phone call from Aiden.. He was the last person I wanted to talk to.. Especially today.. But I did text him.. After all, he was my boyfriend..

I took my shower and continued with my reading till I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore..

Next day at school I was feeling like I was hit by a track.. I haven't slept that late since I don't know when.. I think I slept only two hours.. So.. My day I knew it would be difficult.. And I would be cranky.. And a bitch more than ever.. Especially to we know whom..

"Morning class.." last person who came inside was Ashley.. She always had to make her presence visible.. I think she enjoyed it.. "Ms Davies.. Thank you for joining us"

"You are very welcome sir.." she said and sat right next to me..

"As you already know the first trimester is ending.. Some of you did well, some of you did not.. So my point is that this is your last year and if you want to go to college try harder.. Simple as that.. I won't give an A to someone who doesn't deserve it.. I won't give a C to someone who puts sports more than his/her education.. You are here to learn.. So learn.. Back to our lesson"

I couldn't keep my eyes open.. I tried so hard to not sleep.. But I was losing my ability to stay up.. And when I was ready to close my eyes and lean to my desk I felt that familiar touch on my arm.. I knew it was her.. Not only because she was sitting right next to me but I knew her touch.. And I knew how this touch made me feel..

"Don't sleep.. You don't want Mr glassy to put you in detention.. Its not the right place for a girl like you to be" I wanted so much to yell at her but her voice just did things to me.. Her voice was already husky.. Add the fact that she was whispering to me and I was already fantasying things again.. Damn..

"Mind your own business"

"Why so mean blondie?"

"It seems you don't get it right?"

"Get what?"

"My name is not.."

"Blondie.. Oh, I know that already.. But yet it seems that every time I say it you get so affected by that.."

"Ms Davies, Ms Carlin.. I am so sorry to interrupt your conversation.. But I am sure you would like to continue that in detention.."

"What?" I said while getting up from my seat

"Ms Carlin, sit down please.."

"But sir.. I never got into detention.."

"There is always a first time for everything.. Now, where were we?"

I couldn't believe this.. Through my whole high school years I have never been in detention, I was never being yelled at by a teacher or anything.. But yet, since the day she came everything starting to change.. I started to change and I didn't know if I wanted this change.. I didn't know if I could change.. But yet I was curious to find out..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello guys.. Thank you all for taking your time to review.. I know i always say that but i am just glad you like the story so far.. Its different from the ones i am used to write.. **

**OneLiner: We only hope Spencer does.. :)  
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**Channel22: Thank you for your kind words.. I am just glad people are taking their time to review my story.. I am not one of those writers who seek reviews.. Whoever wants to review i am always glad to read and reply back..  
><strong>

**L2GQ, lilce92: The wait is over.. Detention time.. **

**ItsMeCharlie: Thank you.. Rushed stories never was my thing.. Because that doesn't happen in real life as well.. **

**dani: Ashley can turn a straight woman gay i think.. She is very interesting.. Lol**

**whocares: thanks**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

A lot of people believe that being a teenager is so easy.. But yet no one understands how difficult it is from what they tend to believe.. And it's kind of strange because everyone has been a teenager so they must know.. So yes, being 17 is not easy.. You have to find what you want to do in your life.. Do you want to go in college? Do you want to marry and start a family while being young? Do you want to find a job? And last but not least the question that has been troubling me for a couple of months now.. Who do you want to be?

Who do I want to be.. Up until recently I would answer right away.. But now I just can't.. Because the person I thought I was I guess it was the person my parents wanted me to be..

When my day has finished I didn't go back to my place.. No.. I had to attend detention with Ashley because she couldn't keep her mouth shut.. So now I had to go and stay there for two hours with her and I don't know who else.. I never thought I would have to cross that door..

"Hey Spence.. Are you coming?"

"No.. I am on detention" I saw Aiden smiling and I wanted to hit him.. But no.. I was a girl and I had manners..

"You? Spencer Carlin? President of the student council? The straight A girl? You are on detention?"

"Shut up Aiden.."

"Hey don't be feisty.. It's not a bad thing"

"Aiden, I am sorry but I won't go to college with sports scholarship while my GPO is 2.3.."

"Ouch.. That hurt Spencer"

"I know.." I said and I left him right there standing with no regrets of what I have said.. It was true.. Aiden was a beautiful boy and great in sports.. He would go to any college just because he played good basketball.. Yet, I had to be perfect and have an amazing portfolio for Harvard to accept me among others.. So this detention wouldn't seem good to Harvard and especially to my parents..

When I reached the classroom where supposingly the detention was I saw her sitting on the back with only one chair empty.. The one next to her.. She was smiling at me.. And although I was pissed at her for bringing us here yet I couldn't stay mad for long..

"Hello ladies and gentleman.. Some of you already know the rules.. We will all stay here for two hours.. You can do whatever you like but be quiet.." Mrs Stewart told us.. Mrs Stewart was an amazing teacher.. Young for her age, on her early 30s, always kind to us and respecting us.. Although I hated Chemistry she made it easier for us to learn.. So if I had to choose a favorite teacher it was her..

"Hello blondie.. Nice seeing you coming by" Ashley said with a smirk.. I didn't say anything to her.. Instead I took out my homework for tomorrow and I started to write what I was supposed to do..

"Always so serious.. Always so perfect.. But yet so fragile like a porcelain" She continued and I still didn't turn to answer to her..

"You know blondie.. You and I are not so different.." That's where I had to laugh.. And that's where I turned my head to look at her..

"You and I have nothing in common Ashley.." I said in a sarcastic tone

"How do you know?"

"I know.."

"How? What do you know about me? You know nothing.. Do you know why? Because you are a loner.. Like me.. You don't want to get attached to people in case they hurt you.. So you created an outer self.. The one who is so much better than others.. The one who doesn't seem to care about anyone.. Am I wrong?"

I looked at her and I couldn't say anything.. I couldn't even move.. How did she manage to look through me.. No one ever did.. Sometimes I was wondering if my own parents knew me.. But yet this person in front of me, someone I never talked more than five minutes figured out more about me than other people I had in my life..

"I don't understand what you are saying Ashley.." she then leaned closer to me, touching my arm and whispered to me..

"I think you understand more than you let us think.. Now I'll let you continue with your homework.."

I tried to get back to what I was doing but I couldn't.. Not after that..

"Who are you? Why did you come here? Why are you doing this to me?

"I am doing what to you Spencer?" There she was.. Saying my name again.. It sounded so good when I was hearing it from her lips..

"You know very well.." she shook her head playing dump.. But I knew she knew what I meant.. But I wouldn't give her the satisfaction on telling her..

"I want you to stop calling me blondie"

"Are you not blond?"

"That's not the case.. I have a name.."

"Yes I am aware.. And a very unique one.."

"Are you in a relationship with Audrey?" I don't know how that escaped my lips and I wanted to take it back.. I wish she didn't hear me asking her but unfortunately I wasn't that quiet..

"I think that is not of your business Spencer.."

"Are you gay?"

"I am not your friend and you are not mine.. So who I am and whom I am dating is my own business.."

"You know with an answer like that you are making me believe that you are gay and you are dating Audrey.."

"If that is what you want to believe I won't stop you.." I wanted to scream but it wouldn't be wise as there were other people in the same room with us.. She was driving me insane.. She always had that calm exterior and those smartass answers..

For the next half an hour she didn't talk to me and I didn't either.. I looked next to me at some point and I saw her sketching something.. I didn't know she could draw.. I could see her sketching an angel with long hair and big wings.. Although the angel seemed sad.. When she moved I turned my head immediately for her not to see me spying on her..

"Ok class.. 30 more minutes and we can all go home.. You were all so quiet today.. I am impressed.." Mrs Stewart said and walked among the desks till she reached the last row where Ashley and i were.. "Ashley I didn't know you can draw.."

"Its nothing really.." she said and tried to hide her sketch..

"I wouldn't call it nothing.. And I wanted to tell you that you did very well at the test.. Well done.." if I didn't know any better I would say that Ashley blushed.. I guess she was right.. I didn't know anything about her.. And day by day I wanted to know everything about her and her life..

I looked at her and I couldn't help but wanting to talk to her.. And that's what I did..

"The sketch is beautiful.."

"Thank you.."

"Have you been sketching for years?"

"Since I can remember myself.. It was always my way out.."

"You know.. Angels are my favorite.. Angels and fairies.." She turned her face and looked at me and I saw that smile that was making my heart beat a little faster..

"Angels are my favorite too.."

Our detention time was over and the two hours I spent here with her were not as bad as I thought it would be.. We picked our things and headed outside the classroom.. The school was empty at this time and it was always strange to see it like that with no students around..

When we went out we both looked at each other and said our goodbyes.. I walked to my car and I couldn't help but look at her walking.. Didn't she have a car? Or anyone to pick her up? I put my keys in the engine and I drove next to her..

"Hey.." I said but she didn't turn.. I could see she was listening to her music so I pressed the honk

"What the fu.. Oh its you.."

"Do you want a ride?"

"No, thanks.. I am good.."

"Ashley, I could give you a ride.. Its not like I would carry you on my shoulders.." she stopped and looked at me.. She looked beautiful.. Even if her sunglasses were covering her beautiful brown eyes..

"Ok.."

When she stepped inside she removed her earplugs but remained silent.. It was strange to see her like that.. I was used to her having always a smartass comment to give.. I looked at her and her now very short skirt was merely covering her legs.. I licked my lips and tried to focus on the road..

"Where are you living?"

"Not far away.. I'll tell you when to turn.."

"You know.. About what you said earlier you weren't completely wrong about me.."

"Interesting.."

"You think?"

"And what is it you think you know about me?"

"I think you are gay.." I heard her laugh.. Even her laugh was beautiful.. What was wrong with me?

"You think I am gay.. Ok.. What else? By the way turn on your right to the next stop.."

"I think you are hiding who you truly are.. You said you are a loner like me.. So what is it about you you don't want anyone else to find out?"

"I have nothing to hide.. No one came close enough to ask about me.. If someone asked I would have answered.."

"Really?"

"Really.."

"So who are you Ashley Davies?"

"This is my house.. Thank you for the ride.." she said and opened the door to go out..

"You won't answer me?"

"Some other time.. I'll let you wonder a little bit more about me.. Bye Spencer"

She opened the door and stepped out.. I saw her walking and I couldn't take my eyes or my mind off her.. It was final.. This person was driving me insane more than any other person before.. And more than anything I wanted to find more about her.. I wanted to get to know her.. To find who she was and at the end to maybe understand why she was making me feel that way..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	10. Chapter 10

**OneLiner: Can we really have Ashley being the bad ass in the whole story? Lol..  
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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

**Ashley's POV**

It has been almost six months since I arrived in my new home.. In a new place.. With new people around me every day and parents that really cared about me.. It has been strange at the beginning but now I was starting to get used to it..

High school life is the same like everywhere.. The only exception might be those private schools where all the snob and rich kids are.. But yet, even in those schools a high school student is a high school student no matter what..

As for my school.. Its not bad.. Up until now I made one friend, if I could call him a friend really.. Aiden.. Aiden who happens to be Spencer's boyfriend.. The perfect couple.. The next prom king and queen for sure.. As for any other friends no one tried to befriend me and to be honest I didn't try either.. But nevertheless I was kind of "famous".. Everyone knew about the new strange girl who came from California.. There was though that girl.. Spencer.. She was impossible.. And I liked the fact I could get under her nerves that fast.. But the problem is that I liked her more than I thought I would.. And I felt only once like that..

Back in California I did a lot of things.. Things I wasn't proud of and with people I shouldn't hung out with.. I had relationships with boys and girls and I didn't care about any of them.. What I cared about was to take what I wanted and leave.. No emotions.. Until I met Sophia.. She was a beautiful girl I met one day while ordering my coffee.. When I saw her she did something to me.. I don't know what but she was different from all the others.. I wanted to get to know her.. Although I wasn't sure if she was gay or not.. I didn't have anything to lose really.. So I tried..

We became friends immediately.. She was one of those people who always smiled and with her I was a different person.. All I wanted was to be with her all the time.. And then there was that one day where I told her I liked her more than a friend.. That one day where I leaned to kiss her and she pushed me away.. I still remember the shock in her eyes.. The hurt.. She wasn't feeling the same.. And right there I felt my heart break..

For a few days I was lost.. And then I went back to my old self.. Not caring, doing stupid things, till my real father found me and here I am.. In Ohio state..

Spencer was nothing close to how Sophia was.. If I had to describe Spencer I wouldn't use the best of words but there was something about her that made me want to come closer.. To annoy the hell out of her.. To get under her nerves because it was so easy to do it.. And then there was this feeling I felt before and I was feeling it again with her.. And I was scared.. So I kept my distance and I was the Ashley that everyone was curious about..

While in detention I knew she was staring when I wasn't looking.. I knew she wanted to know more about me.. She wasn't the same like when I met her.. There was just something different.. In my experience with people of every kind I could figure her out.. But she was keeping herself closed enough for me to find more..

When she asked me about Audrey I laughed.. I heard the rumors and I won't say they weren't truly real.. Audrey was like the girl from the movie "Mean girls" Karen.. Beautiful but slow.. And I knew I could get under Spencer's skin just by flirting with her.. And I might have kissed Audrey but nothing more.. Now how everyone thought that me and Audrey were together that's something else..

I wanted to get to know Spencer more.. I wanted to come closer to her but yet I couldn't.. I was scared of my emotions and how they would evolve.. And right now I knew that I liked this person more than I should.. And I didn't want for my heart to break for one more time.. So things were better to be left like that..

When I got inside Raife was preparing dinner.. It was already 5pm..

"Ashley, you are here finally.. Why are you late?"

"I was on detention for two hours.."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing really.. Its just that the teacher has issues and I think he doesn't like me that much"

"Don't let this happen again.. Catherine will come in a few.. So can you make the table?"

"Sure.."

Catherine was the best step mom anyone could ask for.. She was kind, and she loved kids.. She was a teacher to the public elementary school in our area.. From what I know kids loved her as she always came back home with a couple of sketches with her name, usually written with different colors..

"Will you come tomorrow at the bar? There will be an open mic night and don't tell me you don't sing because I know you do.. I heard you and you have a beautiful voice.."

"Yeah, I don't think so.."

"Why? You have a talent Ash.."

"Because I don't sing in public.."

"What if we sing together? Would that be better?"

"I don't know.. Let me think about it and I'll tell you.. Ok?"

"That's all I want.."

Twenty minutes later Catherine was home as well and we were all sitting around the table to eat.. She was telling us about her day, I told them about mine, I got yelled at by her for getting into detention, and we all laughed at the end about my dad's day.. Since he wasn't working he was the one who would do the chores and everything.. He didn't have any problem doing them.. Looking at them and how they were I was thinking that I would like to be them in a few years.. Find the person I want to be with, feel that closeness and be happy.. They made it seem easy..

Next day came and I found myself looking at Spencer and Aiden kissing at the parking lot.. I had to turn my head away from the sight in front of me.. It wasn't that appealing.. But I wasn't that lucky because Aiden saw me the moment I was trying to be invisible..

"Ashley, hey.. Goodmorning" I took off my earplugs so I could hear him..

"Hey Aiden.." I was looking at Spencer through my black Jackie O glasses.. She seemed uncomfortable but yet I could see a small smile on her lips.. I didn't talk to her neither did she..

"What are you doing today.. We were thinking to go for bowling.. Why don't you come with us.."

"I am sorry but I can't.. Thank you though.." I was ready to put my earplugs in when I heard him talk again..

"I don't take no for an answer.. I haven't seen you hanging out with anyone here.. So I think you should come.. There will be other people as well.."

"Aiden, I am not interested.. But thank you.."

"Oh come on Ash.."

"Aiden, stop.. If she doesn't want to come don't pressure her.." I heard Spencer telling him.. Her voice sound irritated.. Why? Who knows..

"I will sing with my dad tonight at the local bar.. It has an open mic night.. So thank you.. Maybe some other time.." I said and left them right there before he tried to say anything else..

All day long I could see Spencer looking at me.. We did share a couple of classes.. I wanted to avoid her after this morning's meet up but from the other hand I liked to tease her..

"Hey blondie, if you want to say something I am all ears you know"

"I thought you would stop calling me that.."

"Well, guilty.. I think it suits you better than Spencer.." I saw her twisting her lips like she was ready to say something..

"You didn't answer me yesterday.."

"Answer you what.."

"About you.. Who you are.. Who Ashley Davies is.."

"I am sorry.. But I don't know you that well.." I said with a smirk..

"What if I want to know you better?" I didn't answer to her because the teacher came in.. And he was one of my favorites.. Oh, that was sarcastic..

"Hello class.. Today's lesson is about death.. And what better from Alan Poe.."

No one really liked today's lesson.. Besides me.. I was always fascinated by Poe.. Yes, he was kind of strange and some of his stories were kind of scary but yet he could write a beautiful poem with so much emotion..

Our class finished and I got up first as always.. But Spencer didn't seem to want to let go.. I must say she was really persistent..

"Ashley wait.." I stopped and turned to look at her..

"Yes?" she seemed out of words.. And I didn't wait for her to find them anyway.. Instead I found Audrey and I walked to where she was standing.. When I turned to look back Spencer was already gone..

Tonight it was the open mic night.. And although I didn't really want to go because I never sang live and especially to other people besides myself I had to go.. That way I could bond with Raife and we both liked music.. I guess now I know from where I took that love..

"Ashley? Are your ready? We are living in a few"

"Yes.. I'll be downstairs in a few"

I took one last look in the mirror.. I was wearing my tight jean skirt with a black vest and a red bra underneath and my favorite high hill black stilettos.. I had my hair down in a loose pony tail that left half of my hair down..

Once I was downstairs Raife looked at me in awe.. He never said anything about how I dressed.. I am not going to say that the way I dressed was like I was going to church but it wasn't like I looked like a whore or something..

"You look.. Ehm.. Good.."

"Thank you.."

"Ash, I think you are going to rock out some hearts there tonight"

"It's not my plan to Catherine"

"Are we ready?"

"Yeap.."

Once inside the bar everyone greeted Raife and he was happy to introduce me as his daughter to everyone he knew.. The manager showed us everything we needed.. He checked the equipment and once everything was ready we waited backstage.. I was checking every now and then and more people seemed to come every minute that was passing till the place was packed..

"Are you ready kiddo?"

"As ready I can be.."

"We are fifth on the row.. I thought I would sign us after a couple of people so you can feel comfortable.."

"Yes, thank you.." My palms were sweating and my heart was beating way too fast.. I hoped I wouldn't faint..

The first two people who sang really sucked.. I mean really.. How a person doesn't know if they have a voice or not.. Seriously..

The third guy was kind of better I must say.. At least he could hold a tone and he played the violin as well.. Not bad..

The fourth person was a girl named Jersey.. I had to laugh a little bit.. It's strange why parents would name their children after a town or a state.. Yet, besides her name, the girl had a beautiful voice and the crowd was asking for more.. She sang two more songs and then it was us..

"Breathe Ashley.. We are on.."

"Yes.. Breathe.. I am breathing.. Ok.. I am ready.."

Once out everyone were screaming my dad's name.. I didn't know he was that famous over here.. Its not like I ever came here to listen to him.. And that I regret..

"Hey everyone.. Tonight I'll sing with my beautiful daughter.. It's her first time here.. So give a big shout for Ashley.." everyone started to say my name and I felt like I was a famous singer.. It was a strange feeling..

I looked at my dad, he nodded and the show was on..

He was playing the guitar while I was singing a familiar song we both knew very well.. I must admit that it felt amazing singing for the first time with so many people around.. Everyone was asking for more and my dad couldn't say no but he looked at me first to see if I was ok.. Of course I was..

Raife being a big fan of rock as I was too we sang songs of Metallica, AC/DC, Scorpions.. It was like they didn't want us to stop.. And its then when I saw her in the crowd.. Why she was here I don't know.. And while I was smiling a little inside I repressed it right away.. I wouldn't let myself feel anything about that girl.. Especially knowing she was straight and in a relationship with Aiden.. So we finished our songs and we went backstage.. Raife was ecstatic..

"Ashley.. You rock.. You were amazing.."

"Thank you.. You too.. I am sorry I haven't come all this long to hear you.."

"Its ok.. Don't worry.. It was a pleasure singing with you.."

"It was mine too.." He took me in his arms and kissed my forehead.. I couldn't help but hugging him with everything I had inside..

"Hey rock stars.. You were both amazing.." Catherine said while giving a kiss to Raife

"Thank you" we both said with the same grin..

"Ready to go and enjoy the rest of the night?"

"Definitely.."

When we went back I saw she was still there.. I didn't go where she was standing.. Instead I was sitting on our table that was reserved for us and I was enjoying the guy that was up now.. He looked kind of funny..

It's then when I felt her next to me.. She had a particular scent that it was hard not to notice..

"You were amazing tonight Ashley.."

"Thank you.."

"I didn't know you could sing.."

"You don't know a lot about me blondie.." I had to put boundaries between us.. Because if I didn't I don't know how things would go.. And I was scared it would go with me being hurt again..

I turned my head away from her and talked with Catherine who was asking me who the girl was.. I told her she was someone from school and I left it like that.. She tried to talk to me again but I wasn't too talkative.. And it was then that I knew I pissed her off..

"I really don't understand you and it seems I won't ever.." and like that she left.. What was her deal anyway.. I don't know what she wanted from me.. And I wouldn't stay around to find out.. I was good as I was.. I wanted this year to end so I could go to California's art school.. That's all I wanted.. Or did I want more than that?

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys.. This week has been hectic for me.. I am sorry for not answering to all of your reviews but I am posting this chapter over my phone.. I want to thand all of you though for your kind words to my last chapter.. **

**Chapter 11**

Time flies so fast that sometimes we miss things in a blink of an eye.. I didn't know how fast December was here and the winter ball would be in two days.. I didn't know how this month came and went away as fast.. I had so many things to think about, exams and the preparations for the prom, my parents who were up on my neck about grades, my brother who would visit us from college, family who would come on Christmas Eve, Aiden wanting to be all couply, and I had Ashley being more distant than ever.. But I was distant towards her as well..

After that night at the open mic I didn't try to talk to her and she didn't bother with me either.. It kind of pissed me off.. I couldn't understand this person.. I couldn't understand what she wanted or why she was hot and cold at the same time.. But with everything that I had on my hands I couldn't think more to that.. All I knew was that I was thinking this person more than I should and that thought wasn't helping me at all.. Instead it was causing me to ask questions about my feelings towards her and questions about myself.. And I didn't know what to answer to both.. I only knew how I was feeling.. And that feeling was new and at the same time strange and scary..

"Spencer, we need you to come for a moment.."

"Yes, Tracey.. Ill be there in a few.."

The preparations were almost ready but I had to rearrange a few things that weren't fitting to our theme.. This year's winter ball theme was "Snow Fantasy Tale".. The basketball court was decorated in white, snowflakes were hanging from the ceiling, we had real trees surrounding the area, ice sculptures with fairies.. This year I must admit that everyone did a great job..

"Everything looks fine Tracey.. You did well everybody.. I think this year's winter ball will be the best" everyone smiled and some other yoo-hoo and congratulated themselves.. It was a team work.. "I think we are ready for Friday"

When I was coming out from the basketball court I saw Ashley walking by.. I wondered why she was here at this time around.. It was almost 5pm.. She looked at me for a second and smiled at me.. And before I could react she was gone.. Like that.. She had the tendency to do it often.. She would appear and disappear.. I was wondering if she would come on Friday.. I guess I would find out sooner or later..

"Spencer honey, your dress came today.. I put it in your room"

"Thank you mom.. May I go in my room to try it on?"

"Sure, but don't be late.. Dinner is ready.."

"I will be back in a few.."

I had a special order for my dress.. I wanted it to be simple but yet elegant.. Like it was made by fairy godmothers..

When I got inside my room a huge package was sitting on my bed.. I opened it and I looked at my dress.. It was beautiful.. I held it infront of me in the mirror and I was imagining how this ball would turn out to be.. Would I be the queen and Aiden the king? What if I didn't find any of these things important anymore?

I was feeling a big change in me.. A change I could only blame on the person I couldn't take off my mind.. Ashley..

Dinner with my parents was boring as always.. My brother would come in a week and my mother was ecstatic about it.. After all her only son was in Harvard.. First of his class.. She was a proud mother..

"I am going to bed.. I have to finish my homework for tomorrow"

"Goodnight Spencer.. We can't wait to see you wearing that dress with Aiden by your side.."

I didn't comment on that.. I was just glad that she didn't see my face when she said that..

I took a shower and went back to my room thinking of the last month and the previous ones.. I didn't know who I was becoming and what I wanted.. Harvard was only a few months away.. I would leave this town and I would be a college student away from everyone and especially my mom.. But that wasn't what I wanted.. And just for a second I didn't think of me and Aiden at that prom.. Instead I was thinking of me with someone else.. Someone who was irritating, that was getting into my nerves more than anyone ever did, someone who was a girl with long brown curls.. And the moment I thought of that I shook my head to forget all about it..

Friday couldn't come any faster.. It was already past 12 and I had my last class with Ashley.. Literature.. My favorite class.. I loved reading so much.. I don't know how many books I have in my library..

Reading always made me feel invisible for a moment.. I was finding myself lost in the essence of the book.. The smell of the paper, the cover.. I would never change how good it feels to have a book on your hands.. So yeah, in the back of my head I always thought of English as a professional career.. To be a teacher in high school, or a professor in college but no.. That wasn't good enough for my mom.. Teaching wasn't good and it meant nothing..

Inside the class the teacher was telling us about our finals.. We would have to read the books we did in the class and one more..

"Have you read this book he is telling us about?" Ashley whispered trying not to get us in trouble again.. I think our teacher didn't like her that much.. And now she was talking to me? No, I refuse to talk to her back after so many days..

"I think I read it once but I am not quite sure" what didn't she understand exactly? Me not talking to her or me not bothering with her? So why was she still talking to me?

"I must confess that the basketball court looks amazing.. Your team did a good job blondie" that was it..

"I told you don't call me.."

"Ah, she talks.. I knew that you would talk after calling you that.." before I answer the bell rung and everyone started packing their things.. It was lunch break and I had other things to finish before I even think of eating anything.. So I packed my things and was ready to leave without answering her again.. Not before I felt her touch on my arm.. That touch.. It was electrifying.. I could feel it through my whole body..

"Can we talk?"

"What do you want from me Ashley?"

"Just to talk.."

"I have things to do.."

"It won't take long.. I promise"

Ashley never talked and since she wanted to talk I couldn't say no.. I just followed her where she was taking us..

"Ashley, I don't have time.. So whatever you want to say make it fast.."

"Spencer, just chill out.. Ok? You are always like you have a stick on your ass.." what? No one ever talked to me like that.. Especially in front of my face.. And to think that I followed her here to hear what she wanted to say..

"You don't know me Ashley Davies.. As I don't know you obviously.. So any assumptions about what I have or I have not on my ass is not your business.." I got up and I started walking away only to hear her walking right behind me.. I didn't stop.. And she didn't either..

"You don't want to know me Spencer.. I am not interesting.." I had to stop.. I looked at her in the eyes and she wasn't wearing her glasses like most of the times.. I wanted to look beyond what everyone knew about her.. I wanted to understand the softness of the brown eyes I was looking at..

"This is were you are wrong.. I want to know about you.. I know what I want and what I don't want Ashley.. You won't be the judge to that.."

"Do you really know what you want? Because it doesn't seem so Spencer.." she wasn't far from the truth.. I started questioning myself about what I wanted for me a couple of months ago..

"What did you want from me? You wanted to talk.. So talk.."

"It doesn't matter now.. Go back to what you were supposed to do anyway.." she picked up her things and walked away.. I didn't follow her as she did earlier.. This girl kept leaving me speechless every time..

The day has finished and I was home finally.. Being me I guess the day can be endless.. But this time around I had a lot of things to do and attend and finish before I could be all pretty, smile like a doll and follow my handsome boyfriend at the ball not before taking a lot of pictures at home with my mom crying and my dad being all proud.. Yeah, I wasn't feeling it that much.. Even if it was my last year here..

"Spencer, you look beautiful honey.. You are like a princess" my mom said taking another picture of me.. "And Aiden, oh my god.. You are like a prince.. You look so perfect together.." And another picture..

"You do look beautiful baby.." Aiden whispered in my ear while bringing me a little closer to him with his hand..

"Thank you.. You too.." I smiled at him.. "Mom, we need to go.."

"Have a good time.. And Aiden be a gentleman with my daughter.."

"Always Mr C.."

We drove with Aiden's car to our school.. Once we arrived I looked at how everyone was dressed and who was coming together with whom.. Some it was already obvious.. Like me and Aiden.. Some other were coming alone and some other you would never imagine that they would come together with that particular person at the prom..

I knew how the basketball court looked liked but seeing it with people all dressed for tonight was indeed like a fairytale..

"You did a great job Spence.. Want to dance?"

"Sure"

I was searching with my eyes to see if Ashley came.. But it was too crowded and something inside was telling me that she would never come to something like that.. But I hoped that she did.. Why? I don't know.. I just wanted to see her..

"Are you looking for something baby?"

"No, Aiden.. I am just looking to see if everyone is behaving especially those dumps you call teammates.. I don't want to see any of those sticking out their tongues to my ice sculptures.."

"Spence, relax.. Nothing like that will happen.."

"I just want to make sure it won't.." he leaned to my lips and kissed me.. Aiden was a good kisser.. But recently I couldn't feel anything with him.. Like something inside me was pushing any feelings I had once for him to Ashley.. It was like my body and mind was not with him.. But yet I couldn't even think of letting my body feel anything for Ashley.. My mind was already going crazy.. I didn't know how my body would react..

After an hour or something it was time for the announcement of the king and queen..

"Ladies, Gentlemen.. I would like to thank everyone who worked hard to make all this so beautiful.. You did a great job guys.." Mrs Stewart our Chemistry teacher said and everyone clapped their hands and smiled.. "As it is a tradition to our school everyone voted for who they thought it would be your perfect king and queen.. Everything was secretly done so no one knows.. Not even me that I am holding this envelope in my hands.. So I don't want to keep you all waiting anymore.. Here it is.. "The prom king for the year 2013-2014 is.. Aiden Devinson.." Aiden gave me a loving kiss on the lips and walked up on the stage to take his crown.. All the time he didn't take his eyes off me.. "Your prom queen for 2013-2014 is.. Spencer Carlin.. Come up here Spencer to find your king.." I walked up to the same stage Aiden was to take my crown as well.. All this time with a big smile on my face.. Fake smile if I may add.. "Give a big shout for your king and queen.."

We were the king and queen for another year..

At some point I felt like I couldn't breathe.. I told Aiden I was going out and I would come back.. He wanted to come with me but I wanted to be alone..

Once I was out I felt the cold on my warm body.. It was starting to snow.. Before Christmas Eve the whole town would be dress in white..

Although it was cold it was refreshing in a way.. It was like the cold was taking away everything I was feeling inside.. When I turned my head I saw her right there.. Dressed like she normally did.. She was wearing black tights with high heel boots, her leather jacket closed till up on her neck, a red scarf, and she was smoking her cigarette.. She looked at me back but neither of us made the move to come closer.. We were just looking at each other..

"Congratulations blondie.. I heard you are our queen.." she said while not looking at me.. It was only me and her outside and I could hear her clearly..

"Thanks"

"And Aiden is your king.. You are indeed a great couple.. No wonders as to why you are the royal couple.. Are you happy?" she said all this while walking slowly to where I was standing.. It was minus degree outside but yet I didn't mind of the cold.. It was her that was taking my breath away..

"Yes, I am.. Why are you asking?"

"Because if you were you wouldn't stand outside with this weather.."

"So that means you are not happy as well.."

"No, actually I am.. For once in my life.." I could smell her breath.. She was inches away from me.. I smelled alcohol..

"Ashley, did you drink?"

"Yes.. But don't worry.. I am totally fine.. So what are you doing here at this cold weather?"

"None of your business.."

"Oh come on.. I voted for you.. You should thank me.. My vote added to others made you the queen of our high school.. But I am sure you already were.. You are the bitchy queen.. Aren't you blondie?"

"I won't stay here to take any insults from you.. If you want to be miserable then be it.. I am going inside.." I made one step to go inside but I was held back from her hand on mine.. And while she turned me around and I was facing her face she kissed me.. Like that.. Her lips were on mine and I was lost..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys.. New week, new chapter.. We are on chapter 12 and i want to finish this story round chapter 30.. I am already ahead a few chapters.. We will see how it will go.. **

**Guest: hello Sydney fan.. Glad you like my story so far.. :)  
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**GoMe: Because it was about time someone did it.. And Ashley was a little bit drunk..  
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**gina32: Thank you very much.. Bold move indeed..  
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**Guest: Thank you :)  
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><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

**Ashley's POV**

What a feeling is? How does it feel to want? To have a constant need? To crave of something or someone?

I couldn't control my feelings anymore.. Feelings I knew I had about Spencer, but I didn't know what to do or if anything I didn't know if I should act on them.. In my mind it always played that moment I let myself feel something about someone and I got burned.. And I was afraid that if I let myself to feel again it would hurt the same if not more..

When I was around her I wanted to look at her.. She was a beautiful girl.. What not to like about her? And I realized that there were more to who Spencer was than she let everyone think of her.. She wasn't that hard to read.. At least to me.. I spent a couple of years getting to know people.. It was my way to protect myself anyway..

At the beginning it was me being a smartass and wanting to get into her nerves.. But as the time was passing I was starting to like her but I was holding myself back.. I didn't want to come close to her because when I was doing so it didn't end always in good terms.. Someone was always getting hurt.. And this time I didn't want it to be me.. So I kept my distance after coming closer than I intended..

Spencer was the perfect girl and I was an outcast.. How could I like someone like her without being hurt really? Straight, popular, great student, great family, perfect boyfriend.. But yet there was something in her eyes that was telling me the opposite.. And that's why I kept pushing and pushing..

The winter ball was her success.. Everyone was saying so.. But I had to look at it by myself.. Everyone was going crazy this time round.. I never understood why.. It was just a prom.. Nothing important.. At least to me.. But every girl in this school that had a reputation wanted to be a queen.. Especially their senior year.. As for me going at the prom.. I still didn't know.. If I would go it would just to be there and observe.. Nothing more nothing less..

"Ash, still you don't know if you will go at the prom tonight?"

"Yeah, I don't know why I should go.."

"Because its your senior year.. This is something you will remember"

"I don't think there is something I need to remember.."

"Its as you want.. But I think you should attend at least.."

"l'll see what I'll do .. I still have a few hours to decide.." I told Raife and walked back to my room..

Actually I didn't have too many.. It was already 5.30pm and the prom would start at 8pm.. But I was the last minute person always.. So I still had time..

Around 8.30pm and after dinner I decided that I would go at the prom.. Just to stop by and see how it was.. I wasn't planning to stay.. Catherine was exited that I would go and so was my dad but I told them not to be.. They already knew me so they knew I wasn't kidding about stuff.. I put my black tights, my leather jacket and my high heel boots and a red scarf that Catherine insisted to take because it was cold outside..

When I arrived at school I could hear all the music from inside.. All the laughter.. Every girl was dressed like they were coming out from a fairy tale.. That was the theme of the night anyway.. I wasn't dressed as I should be.. I would give them another reason to gossip about tomorrow..

"Aaaaaashley.. What are you up to?" A drunk Steven asked me.. Steven was one of the dump football players of our school.. The only good thing about him was his muscles that he could use against the other team..

"Nothing.."

"Want a driiiiink sexy?"

I didn't answer to him.. I never liked him anyway.. And besides I had my own flask with me.. I drunk a little bit before coming here..

It seems that when I arrived it was the time where the king and queen would be announced.. I stayed in the back watching everyone going closer to the stage.. Inside I knew who the royal couple would be.. I guess everyone did..

"The prom king for the year 2013-2014 is.. Aiden Devinson.." Aiden was a good guy.. One you don't expect to find in a high school.. The popular kid, the athlete but yet so kind and nice to the ones that weren't the same as him.. I liked him..

"Your prom queen for 2013-2014 is.. Spencer Carlin.. Come up here Spencer to find your king.." I saw her up there taking her crown, smiling and holding Aiden.. At that particular moment I didn't like him that much and with that thought I left and went outside..

The cold was helping me clear my head.. What was I thinking? Who did I like? As much happy as I was, being a member of a family for once, feeling at home, at this particular moment I just wanted not to be here.. I would rather be somewhere else.. And with these thoughts I kept drinking the whiskey I had in my flask.. It wasn't much anyway.. Just something to make me feel something else.. Something to help me go by.. And then there she was.. Standing outside with her arms around her shoulders.. Like a lost princess.. She saw me looking at her but none of us made any step towards each other.. Blame it to the whisky inside me I was the one to talk..

"Congratulations blondie.. I heard you are our queen.." she looked at me and answered with a simple "Thanks".. I couldn't help myself.. I was feeling something that was completely different from all the times before.. I was feeling bitter.. And it wasn't me wanting to get into her nerves.. It was something more.. I tossed away my cigarette and walked closer to where she was standing..

"And Aiden is your king.. You are indeed a great couple.. No wonders as to why you are the royal couple.. Are you happy?"

"Yes, I am.. Why are you asking?"

"Because if you were you wouldn't stand outside with this weather.."

"So that means you are not happy as well.." she said while looking at me and I could feel that it was a different look from the ones she usually gave to me..

"No, actually I am.. For once in my life.." I was.. For once I was.. I was feeling like I had a part in this life that was given to me..

"Ashley, did you drink?"

"Yes.. But don't worry.. I am totally fine.. So what are you doing here at this cold weather?" I wasn't drunk.. At least not as much as to not know what I was saying..

"None of your business.."

"Oh come on.. I voted for you.. You should thank me.. My vote added to others made you the queen of our high school.. But I am sure you already were.. You are the bitchy queen.. Aren't you blondie?" At this moment I knew she was getting irritated and that was my goal.. I wanted to make her feel that way.. I could feel that were was something in her that wanted to say so much.. I could even see it in her face..

"I won't stay here to take any insults from you.. If you want to be miserable then be it.. I am going inside.." and before she leave I stopped her by turning her around.. And while she was looking at me surprised I did something I never thought I would.. I kissed her.. Simply as that.. I didn't know how, I didn't know why, it was just something I did and what surprised me more was that she didn't push me away.. She was kissing me back..

Her lips on mine felt like fire.. I kissed a couple of people but with her it felt different.. Good different.. I couldn't explain the kiss.. If we didn't hear a noise coming from behind us we would continue to kiss outside in the cold.. But we both stopped.. And when we did none of us were talking.. We were just looking at each other..

"Spence, are you.. Oh, hey Ashley.. I didn't see you at the prom.."

"Hey Aiden.." he walked right next to Spencer and put his hand around her waist.. Like he was protecting her..

"Spence.. Are you ok? Are you cold?"

"No, I am fine Aiden.." Even though she told him she was fine he took his jacket off and gave it to her to put on.. Spencer didn't look at me once while he was with us..

"Want to come inside? They want to take pictures for the year book.. Ashley, are you coming?"

"No, I am leaving.. I was just passing anyway.. I didn't come to stay"

"Oh, come on Ashley.. Its our last year.."

"No, thanks.. I have other plans.. Have a good rest of your night.." It was then that she looked at me again but she didn't say anything.. Instead she went inside with Aiden by her side..

I didn't know what was that thing that happened but I wasn't sure I wanted to keep thinking about it because then I would go crazy.. I wouldn't make it a big deal because if I did then I would be fucked.. And in not a good way..

I didn't go home right away.. Instead I drove a little.. I wanted to go at the park near my house but as it was already late I didn't plan to get raped or killed.. Although this town wasn't known of violence or murders.. But you never know..

When I got home Catherine and Raife were asleep and all I wanted was to take a hot shower and put away all the thoughts I was having about this night.. I had to forget about what happened.. I had to tell myself that it was nothing.. That it was just a moment.. I had to forget about that perfect kiss.. And with that thought I tried to sleep..

Next morning I woke up with a headache but nothing I wasn't used to.. I spent a lot of time being drunk and doing drugs.. But it has been a long time since I drunk.. So it wasn't new but at the same time it made me cranky..

"Goodmorning Ash, how was last night?"

"Great.." I said while holding my head with both my hands.. I needed an aspirin asap..

"Are you feeling ok"

"No.."

"What is wrong?"

"Do you have an aspirin? I couldn't find one in the bathroom"

"I think I have one in ours.. Let me go and get it for you.."

"Thanks.."

I felt that my head was ready to explode..

"Ash, what is it?" my dad came downstairs and saw me with my head on the table..

"Headache.."

"Did you drink last night?"

"Please, not right now.."

"I have it.. Here Ashley.." Catherine gave me a glass of water and my aspirin.. Thank god it was Saturday..

After having breakfast, and after telling them about my night leaving out the kiss part I took the car for a ride.. It started snowing and soon enough the snow will be here.. I never saw snow.. In California is kind of difficult anyway.. So I was excited.. The cold I didn't like much but the snow it was something I always wished to experience..

I was driving around town till I decided to stop at the park next to our school..

I always loved parks.. I could go for running or just relax and listen to my music.. I never minded being alone.. I liked it actually.. And that's what I wanted to do today.. I wanted to be alone in the cold.. Feel the snowflakes on my face..

I stayed there for an hour or two.. There were a lot of kids playing outside with their hats and warms jackets.. This town was so much different from California.. And although I loved it there I started to like this place as well..

When I stood up to leave I found myself face to face with Spencer.. She was alone for once.. Aiden wasn't around her.. I didn't know what she was doing here anyway..

"Well, hello.."

"Don't hello me like nothing has happened.. You have a lot to explain and you better start now.."

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

There will be things in life that you will remember for sure.. Parents usually remember their children's first laugh or their first step.. Girls will always remember their fist kiss and boys will remember the first time they had sex with a girl.. I might be wrong about boys but this is how it is most of the time.. If there is something I will surely remember will be my first kiss with a girl, Ashley..

The night at the prom it was something I didn't expect.. I never thought things would evolve the way they did and sure I didn't expect Ashley to kiss me as much as I dreamed about it.. I didn't know how to react so I let my body act the way it was feeling.. No thinking.. No wondering.. And while I was kissing her my mind was nowhere but to how good she felt.. But like in dreams, when you dream something nice someone or the alarm is waking you up.. And our wake up was Aiden..

When I heard him calling for me I got panicked.. And so did Ashley.. Immediately we stopped kissing and in seconds we were back to what we were before.. What? I wish I knew.. At this point I didn't know what to gather from her anymore.. I couldn't understand her.. What did she want from me..

Aiden and Ashley talked and all I could do was to stand right there.. Seconds ago I was kissing her and then Aiden was holding me.. I couldn't look at her.. The only time I did was when she left and we went inside to take pictures for the year book..

The rest of the night was strange.. Aiden was trying to kiss me all the time and touch me.. He even suggested for us to go to a hotel or something.. He was drunk though.. I could smell it from afar.. At least not that drunk to pressure me more than it would be appropriate.. But I didn't want him.. I didn't want him to touch me.. It was a strange feeling I was having inside.. One that I could only assume was coming from my kiss with her..

Needless to say that when we left from the prom with everyone telling us what a beautiful couple we were all I was thinking was that I wanted to go home.. Aiden wanted us to go at his place and seal the night with sex but I turned him down as easily as saying goodnight.. Did he like it? Not really..

Once I was showered and I was back in my bed I thought again of Ashley and what happened between us.. Why did she kiss me? Did that mean that she liked me? Did she do it on purpose to get into my nerves? I was driving myself crazy and I just wanted to see her and talk to her to figure out everything..

When I woke up next morning it was snowing outside.. I always loved the snow.. Since I was a little girl I always waited for this time of the year to feel the snow on my face, to make snow angels, to even just walk outside.. It was the perfect time of the year for me.. Especially when Christmas was coming..

Thanks Giving would be this week and our family as every year would hold a dinner.. My brother was coming from college, my grandparents, cousins.. The house would be full of people..

"How was last night sweetheart? Did you have a good time?" my mom said with a big smile from ear to ear.. "Were you the queen? What am i asking.. Of course you would be.. And Aiden wasyour king.. You are such a wonderful couple.."

"Yes mom.. We were.."

"What is it? Aren't you happy? Last year you were thrilled.."

"It's nothing.."

"Goodmorning my wonderful girls.." my dad said and kissed my mom before sitting at his chair.. "How was it last night baby girl?"

"It seems something happened Arthur.."

"Why? What happened?"

"Nothing dad.. Nothing happened"

"Then what is it? Why your mother is saying that?"

"Because I wasn't super happy as she was with me being the queen and Aiden the king.."

"Seriously Paula? And I thought that Aiden did something.. Let's have breakfast.."

"Being a queen at your prom is the most memorable thing.." the most memorable thing was my kiss with Ashley but I am sure my mom wouldn't want to know that..

After our breakfast I went out to walk.. I didn't take my car because I loved that feeling of cold in my body.. Kids were out running and enjoying the snow.. If it would go like that tomorrow it would be difficult to walk..

While I was walking I found myself outside our school.. I don't know why.. I didn't think where I was going.. I was just walking.. I stood for a second and looked where Ashley and I were standing last night.. It still felt like a dream.. A dream though that needed answers..

Turning back to leave I saw her.. She was sitting on a bench at the park next to our school.. I felt my legs trembling and I even thought of leaving.. But the curiosity in me was telling me something else.. I wanted answers and this was the best time to get them.. We weren't at school and there would be no Aiden to interrupt us..

While I was approaching her she was getting up to leave.. And when she turned and saw me I could see her surprise..

"Well, hello.." she said with her raspy voice

"Don't hello me like nothing has happened.. You have a lot to explain and you better start now.."

"Wow feisty I see.. What about saying a goodmorning first blondie?" oh no she didn't.. She knew how much that was pissing me off but yet she continued like she didn't know..

"I am sorry.. Spencer, not blondie.."

"Much better.. Now I want answers.."

"What answers do you want me to give you exactly?"

"Are you serious right now Ashley?" she shook her head like it was obvious.. She wasn't that drunk to remember.. She told me she was fine and she even talked with Aiden..

"Spencer, its early in the morning in a beautiful day.. What do you want me to tell you?"

"I want to know about last night? Why" the smirk she had on her face was gone and she looked at me for seconds right through my eyes..

"Last night.. Last night.. I don't recall.. Want to remind me?" she could make my body feel things like never before and at the same time she could irritate the hell out of me in seconds.. But I wouldn't play her game this time.. Not this time..

"We are not leaving from here unless you answer me.."

"You can stay here if you want all day.. But I am leaving.." she made one step to walk away but when she was right beside me I held her back as she did to me plenty of times.. She stopped at my touch and turned back to look at me.. She didn't say anything.. She was just looking.. With the snow falling upon us and with her looking at me like that I wanted nothing more than to repeat last night.. But it wasn't the right place and I still needed answers that only she could give me..

"Ashley, please.. For once just talk to me.." I didn't intend to make it sound like I was begging for her answers but all these months, after all this come and go trip, I just wanted to hear something from her lips.. I just needed something..

"Come with me.." she said and walked to her car.. I didn't know she was driving.. And I never saw her coming with a car at school.. I didn't know anything about her really.. "I thought we should get inside the car.. It was starting to get colder and I have been out for a couple of hours.."

"I don't mind.."

"Listen Spencer.. About last night.. I had some alcohol in my system.. And it has been a long time since I drunk as much.. Forget everything that has happened.. Ok?" How could I forget last night? Didn't she feel anything?

"You said you were fine.. You seemed fine anyway.."

"Last night is blurry really.. I don't even remember how I got home.."

"I see.."

"Just.. Just.. Whatever that happened I was drunk so forget all about it and go back to your boyfriend.." she said without even looking at me.. What was all about it?

"You have a nerve.. You kiss me and then you play the drunk card Ashley? Very mature.." I was pissed.. At this point I felt like shit.. Because I was driving myself crazy over someone who couldn't even look at me in the eyes.. "You know what? Whatever Ashley.." I said and opened the door of her car.. I started walking and all I wanted to do was scream.. I didn't look back once and I didn't hear her car engine as well.. It was like she was waiting for me to walk away..

I didn't know what to make from last night.. I didn't have the answers I needed.. But I knew one thing.. I liked Ashley.. And even more I think I was starting to fall in love with her.. Acceptance was the second thing after denial.. And I was in denial far too long for many things in my life.. It took one person to make me realize a few things about me.. And we are only in the beginning..

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>

**Reviews are always welcome**


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